So far…

Earlier this year, I found myself energetically burnt out. Trying my hardest to run a business in a way that I thought was 'right' or how it 'should' be. In reality, I had exhausted myself through trial and error - mostly conditioning. I didn’t realise the effect of my sacral conditioning. Not knowing when enough was enough. I kept pushing through, taking on the advice of others, trying what worked for them, ultimately finding it wasn’t working for me as a Manifestor.

I informed the universe that I needed support. I sat at my desk and called out to her, ‘Please guide me’! From that moment, I fully surrendered to the journey of being reintroduced to myself through the lens of Human Design and Gene Keys. Unlearning and learning.

Building trust with myself again.

I took a step back and regulated my nervous system, which also came with its own mindset shifts. In this space, I found myself fully supported to be in the thick of the messiness of releasing old patterns and expectations. 

During the month of August, I found myself overwhelmed with stress and running the hamster wheel. What was going on? I didn’t really have much to be stressed about. It was almost like my body had ingested too much caffeine. As the month drew to an end, it was then that I realised that it was the conditioning of my open and undefined centres. It wasn’t mine and I needed to release it.

I started to build habits to support this feeling of overwhelm. I realised that when one undefined centre was triggered, it would set the others off. Feeling the pressure of the undefined root, which would set off my open sacral and heart. Not knowing when enough was enough, seeking external validation, all whilst stressed. I had been absorbing and amplifying.

I started mindful walking of an afternoon to help move energy which was not mine, and in turn, it helped me get closer to understanding my emotional authority and its beautiful wisdom. It’s only 10-15 minutes long, but I have now begun to crave that uninterrupted space.

Finding the little things to support my design and what feels good to me, is a process, and it's different every day. I'm so glad to have found amazing support systems to help me through this (which I'll share more on at a later date).

The past 6 months have been the first time I've felt extremely comfortable in taking my time. Normally, I'm in a mad rush, but this, I know, won't happen overnight. I'm rediscovering myself, building trust with myself, and finding the path best suited to me. This could be my line 6 telling me it’s time to get ‘on the roof’ and savour each moment as it comes.

The space I hold for myself has started to look and feel different as everything unfolds in its imperfect way.