Boundaries: A Lifelong Lesson
Where do you draw the line? Recently, I wrote a post about boundaries. It's something I have been reflecting on for the last little while, and felt I needed to give the topic more space.
This year, I have begun implementing boundaries within my business. Not directly affecting my clients and the people I work with, but to protect the lifestyle and culture I want to maintain. Being present with my family outside of my business. Taking one day off a month for my mental health despite my workload for that week (I used to get an ADO in a previous job, so why not my own business). And now, bringing movement back into my day. Looking after my physical wellbeing which has been pushed aside with the introduction of motherhood and a new business.
When posting about boundaries, there were mixed comments. Quite a few people praised the idea, others have already implemented similar ones into their business, and another mentioned that it's something you learn at the start of running a business. This one caught my eye. My view is that boundaries and expectations are a lifelong lesson which we continue to learn over and over again, as our environments change and evolve. They aren't always black and white.
Several years ago, I was promoted into a management role. The workload was ok to manage at the start, but then it kept building. It kept rolling over until I found myself working every night until 9pm. This new role also meant that I didn't have a permanent office, and therefore I travelled with my laptop. So working late at night became convenient. Despite opening up to my peers and manager about feeling overwhelmed with the workload, I soon realised that there was an underlying cultural expectation that the work would be completed, and that if I continued down this road I would burn out. I chose to step down.
Later I experienced a workplace injury which resulted in the diagnosis of PTSD. There were many factors which contributed to this, one being the stress and pressure I had experienced. This is why I place so much importance on boundaries, particularly around mental health and taking a monthly day off. A day just for me. No toddler, and sometimes no husband. I get to do what lights me up, despite a heavy workload – which is probably the opportune moment to take a breath.
Over the years I felt that I had good boundaries. I was strong and independent. But I also struggled with boundary lines being blurred through a strong drive and work ethic. Since starting my business, and navigating what that looks like, I've found myself wondering what boundaries I would like to uphold. What are the expectations I want for my business. Remembering my 'why'. Having worked in service-based industries most of my career, we place so much value on what we offer. But how can we serve others, if we don't create the balance we need in our own lives.
This conversation isn't a new one, and it's something I bring up with my clients when we start working with each other. What are their non-negotiables, have they implemented a flexible working environment if their business allows. Taking a holistic view of your business, and creating a culture that you would expect from any working environment. If you don't set those expectations, and foster that culture, who will?
If you're waiting for things to 'slow down' before you take time off, it won't happen. There will always be more work. Take a moment to make note of your non-negotiables. What are they, how do they fit in with your business and those important to you. Block time in your diary for those non-negotiables, create a label or category to signify their importance. Make a commitment to yourself to uphold those boundaries, maybe by speaking them out loud to someone else, you place a sense of accountability on them.
"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others." - Brené Brown
How do you maintain boundaries?
